Piece by piece, I'm slowly giving up

So the hospital I work for has these chocolate chip cookies that are to DIE for. So good. There was a 14 day stretch where I worked every day and I also ate a chocolate chip cookie every day. Each day after I ate the cookie I cussed at myself and said, "darn Audrey... That was 200 calories you didn't need to eat!" But I still went back 13 more days in a row so obviously I lack in the area of self control.

Those around me are finally starting to give in to my freak eating ways... Right as I'm giving them up. I'm not doing it intentionally and I have no valid excuse as to why I've gained 10 pounds back in a month.... Other than I just really love food.

My motivation has tanked. I don't crave anything healthy. I don't want to workout. In fact I haven't worked out for almost a week besides a short 1.5 mile walk I took tonight. Much of this is due to stress related to work and school. 

I look at myself in the mirror each morning and I see pictures of myself and think "why are you giving up?" "Why are you dumping a year of hard work down the drain?" And I still can't seem to stop eating like total crap. And when I eat like total crap I don't want to work out either. 

Due to lack of time and commitment issues I recently decided to no longer be a beachbody coach. I love the products, the people, and all that they have to offer but I am a sorry excuse as a fitness coach when I can't even keep my own butt in line. 

I write Goals just to fail at them... And I just can't seem to find my "why" anymore. 

I don't believe that I will be teaching classes in Bedford anymore due to low attendance and it's a long trip for me when I should be spending that time on homework or completing one of the 100 errands that I constantly put off. 

I know... All you're reading is giving up, quitting, and failure. 

I started this blog to tell you my triumphs and the good things about my journey. But to make this blog as real as possible the truth is this journey has bumps, giant gaping holes, struggles, and times of wanting to give up. Hopefully I can make it out of my giant gaping hole once I stop being a pig... 

If you have any extra motivational words to share please pass them my way. Because each day I give up a little bit more and I'm afraid the phrase "is being fat really the worst thing you can be?" Is becoming my catch phrase.....

XOXO, Audrey

PS sorry if this was depressing or also killed your motivation. That was not my intentions at all. Please share your truffles with me as well and maybe we can help each other out!

LOL laughing at myself. Did NOT mean to put truffles above but that explains my "piece by piece".... Dove chocolates get me every time. I'm leaving it because it's hysterical!

How about you share you STRUGGLES with me and maybe we can help each other out!