I'm A Foodie

I'm 23ish weeks into this journey and 25 pounds down! This seems like a slow journey but I want it to go slow. In a super weird, I need a psychiatrist, kind of way this journey is like watching a baby grow. You're excited to see what their future holds, what they will look like, how they will talk, etc... But you don't want them to stop being a baby. This journey is like that to me. I'm excited about what my outcome will be and what I'll look like, what people will say, how I will feel... But. I don't ever want to go through this journey from the beginning again. This is the last time I get to feel these feelings and endure the ride for what it is. Also, we have all heard that if it comes off slow it's more likely to stay off permanently, rather than a quick fix.

I hope you can all see through the screen and realize that I'm just a person. I'm a person who used to cry myself to sleep every night because I was unhappy with my body. I'm a person who hated looking in the mirror in fear of hating myself more. I'm a person who wouldn't undress in front of others in fear of them commenting on my body. I'm a person who used to be scared of dress clothes because they showed my flaws. I'm a person who wouldn't go out in public because I thought I was ugly.... There are no magic pills, no liquid diets, no 7 hours of exercising each day, no surgery... There is sweat, tears, laughter, and love put into my health each and every day. Is every day perfect? HA! No! I am a foodie! I'm the girl that loves to try new foods, loves to eat a home cooked meal, loves sweets to the moon and back... I am the girl with the fat girl eating habits. Habits that I'm working hard each day to change.

Do you know how long it takes to break a habit? It could take YEARS! I work towards breaking it one day at a time and if I trip I keep going because I know it's worth it. For example. I have been eating 100% clean for 17 days today. But yesterday I was an endless pit! I couldn't stop eating, I couldn't get full, I was just straight starving! So you know what I did? I ate, and ate, and ate. BUT I learned! I ate healthy foods that I wouldn't regret later and I figured out why I was so hungry! I went to bed at 6:15 last night because I was so tired. It's proven that if you don't get enough sleep your body craves carbs.. My body was talking to me!

I wrote in my very first blog that I was meant to be in the kitchen and that I truly loved it. Cooking and baking is what I'm meant to do. God lead me to a bakery and gave me a job. At first I thought he was punishing me but he was showing me how great my self control could be while doing what I love. He showed me that I can learn to cook, and make it good for me.

This journey is easier to get discouraged on than anything else. But I don't want you to be discouraged. I want you to remind yourself that you are only human and that you can get past the obstacle! I started one of my last 2 semesters of college this week and it is going to be my hardest yet.. I was bummed and upset but now I'm ready for the challenge. Sit down, breath, and tell yourself you can handle this challenge and you will take it down.

I triple dog dare you to post this picture to your facebook wall and see how many people are ready to push you for a challenge. My likes were at 105 and my comments were at 43.. and I can happily say that I did them all.

XOXO, Audrey